Echidna and Oedipus
by Nusaka
Summary: She loves him because all mothers love their children. She loved only him and she hates everyone else and it makes him feel…happy. Gaara centric, drabble.


_**Echidna and Oedipus**_

**Warnings**: Confusing, possibly disturbing, written from Gaara's point of view and shows his psychotic side.

**EaO**

Right from wrong, wrong from right. It doesn't really matter to him since he'd never been restricted to things; he always got what he wanted (_just not what he needed_) so no one ever bothered to teach him right from wrong. Sabaku no Gaara had always wanted, craved blood and gore and death like a normal child craves sweets. He always got what he wanted since (_even though his father; the Kazekage hated him_) he was the greatest weapon of Suna. He had always been a spoiled child and never encountered something he didn't get; it was alien to him and entirely hopeless to even try to deny _him_ of something. Despite that, no one cared enough (_except his sister Temari, but he frightened her too damn much and he hurt her too much for her to trust him properly, like trying to feed a starving wild wolf_) to give him what he needed. Love, affection and sleep. His eyes portrayed these traits, empty and haunted with lines so dark they could be considered thick, thick eyelashes. The only love he'd ever come close to feeling was his mother's (_or so he thought, somewhere where the mere inkling of the word 'love' held any actual meaning_) because she gave birth to him, she made him from her own flesh and blood and (_so Shukaku whispers sweetly and gently in his attentive ear, because whenever he hears the word 'haha-ue', or 'kaa-san' or 'Karura', he listens and the raccoon demon knows this_) she loved him because all mothers love their children. They all do.

_They **do**_, he knows this and he hates his father for killing the only person who ever held a place in that cold, dead, beating and black lump of flesh in his chest. He hates his sister and brother for knowing her and having her to themselves for so long while she risked it all for him and he never saw hair or sign of her. He hates the villagers' faceless faces in crowds that part when they catch sight of him because they probably knew her and did nothing for her, hates them because he's a good boy, he's a **damn** good boy and he does anything haha-ue would've wanted him to do. Most of all, he hates Yashamaru for looking like haha-ue but being nothing like her, standing in her place of taking care of him and pretending to love him and being nothing but a **_fake_** who ruined his vision of his haha-ue. He killed him and it was hard to watch blood drip off his face while he died because he always stared at the photograph of his haha-ue for hours without blinking and memorized her so he would never forget her since he knew within his little mind that she deserved this and much more, and Yashamaru looked like his haha-ue. Gaara almost believed he had killed his haha-ue while watching his purple eyes close, watch the dark blood drip off, watch the blonde hair fall limp and lifeless as the rest of his boy; because **god**, he'd never want to hurt his haha-ue; never ever, _ever_.

But after Yashamaru was dead, he knew that he would listen to his haha-ue and never disobey her because he was a good boy, he loved her and himself and that's all he would ever love forevermore. Gaara didn't sleep because his haha-ue (_in his twisted mind she still existed and told him what to do with a smile on her face and she walked alone in the sand, leaving her footprints behind so he could follow her because she didn't want him to be alone and she loved him damn it_) told him '_no, no, you can't do that – stay awake and alive. People can't hurt you and I'll keep you safe'_. He listened to her. He never went to sleep but a state of unconsciousness where it was really only a light meditation state of which no one could sneak up on him. Haha-ue always told him to stay awake and alive, '_stay alive, you're my baby so you have to stay alive_'. When the sand rolled in his gourd, he knew it was the ghost of his mother (_and Shukaku_) in there. It was warm and soft (_so he imagined_) and it smelled of the desert; the only mother he knew of. The sand protected him from everything and anything because she loved him just **_that_** much.

When there was someone to kill or someone was going to kill him, he listened to his haha-ue because she knew best, because she told him rightly what to do and because she loved him (_that mark on his forehead told him so because she made it herself_). A kunai to his heart and the sand gripped it and spat it back, haha-ue spitting at the person who even dared to touch her boy (_he knows she's angry at them now and he nearly smiles at the thought of his haha-ue loving him just that much_). It wraps around legs and arms of gossiping children, calling him a beast and monster; haha-ue is prot ective of her Gaara and doesn't want him sad, _goddamn it_. At night when it's cold the sand congeals on him like a blanket and he feels it move, she's breathing and it comforts him to know that she's keeping her baby boy warm and protected. He likes knowing she loves him this much because she never protected Temari and Kankurou like this has she? _Has she_? He's the favorite and that's probably why Kankurou looks at him with disgust and why Temari's eyes will narrow at him; he's the favorite and they're jealous. Haha-ue loves him and favors him over them because she protects him and not them. He's special to his haha-ue and they don't matter, only he does because he's her good little baby boy.

She's never failed to protect him except when encountering that boy with the bowl cut and those enormous slug eyebrows and that idiot of a teacher of his. He was an idiot and Gaara decides it will be easy, the sand moves and he's fast, too fast for his haha-ue to guard him properly. Sand flies up in walls around him but the boy in that ridiculous green spandex suit is everywhere all at once and he hits him, foot knocking him in the head and it hurt, it hurt. _Haha-ue, haha-ue, why didn't you protect me? Didn't you see that? He hit me, kill him, I have to kill him or else he'll kill me and haha-ue says to stay alive no matter what, haha-ue – why didn't you stop him?_ The sand spins around him and blocks the boy, tries to until his fist crashes into his mouth and he flies back. The sand abandons trying to crush the strong green idiot in favor of catching Gaara when he fell, catching him and cradling him, Gaara knows haha-ue is sorry she couldn't protect him and she's trying to make the hurt go away, _haha-ue's sorry_. The sand cradles him and rolls beneath him, pushing him to his feet encouragingly and his head is down, the voice in his mind screaming and howling for blood while the sand hovers around him protectively. Shukaku (_that raspy, whispery voice in his head_) says that his mother is a wolverine, a small, snapping runt of a wolf.

His fingers twitch while the voice is snarling for blood and pain ten fold, a grin comes to his face and the sand is there, swiping and eager to crush (_because he knows his haha-ue is a wolverine, small, vicious and horrendously protective and this little bastard dared to touch her baby, he's going to die, he'd going to die, **DIE**_). The sand smashed into the walls and floors, breaking them and Gaara grins sickeningly and he knows his haha-ue is feeling vindictive for him, for Gaara because she loves him and hates everyone else. The sand catches the boy's leg and flings him like a rag doll, this kill will be drawn out because Gaara doesn't like anyone (_except for haha-ue_) to touch him. Then the big browed boy is in front of him and he is kicking him up into the air, right in his stomach, blow after blow and the sand can't keep up. The air is knocked from him and Gaara feels hurt and dizzy, ill even. The bandages around the boy's arms unravel and wrap around him like a mummy. Gaara's cold eyes widen and he is stunned when the boy grips him and they begin twirling in a downward spiral that goes faster and faster and faster and _haha-ue, haha-ue, haha-ue_…

Then there is pain, he hurts everywhere and the sand is under him, his gourd burst apart to protect him and the sand rolls under him. It smells of a hot desert and old blood, but it doesn't take the pain away. The grains slip inside his shirt and he feels them rub against him, '_haha-ue is sorry, look at my baby, my baby, my poor baby, I'll kill him for you, I'll kill him and I'm so sorry…_' he can barely lift his hand as it shakes, directing the sand that is still cradling him to slip away and chase after the boy who had the audacity to touch him. Gaara watches in sadistic satisfaction as the sand crushes the green boy's left arm and leg with brutality that only a wolverine would have. He crawled away but the sand rushed up and was readying for the finishing blow (_because his haha-ue loves him and she hates anyone who ever looks at him, much less touch him_) only to have the grains knocked away by a powerful blow. The weirdo's teacher is there with a look on his face, "Why did you protect him?"

"He is a student I cherish and love."

Gaara is stunned, he is a student and the teacher loves him? The weakling? The only person to love him is haha-ue and those two before him aren't even related so why doesn't anyone else love him like that too? Mothers always love their brood and that isn't the big browed boy's mother, that is his teacher and why is this going on, what is happening? (_Haha-ue, my head hurts and I'm confused, make it go away, make it go away, WHY AREN'T YOU MAKING IT GO AWAY?!)_

The sand pushed him up gently and Gaara walked away from the broken arena and the teacher who had protected his student. The sand swirled behind him and formed a heavy gourd on his back, sand moving within it and it was warm against him, like a great big hug and he knows that his haha-ue is sorry for all the hurt that happened to him but he also knows she really wants the blood of that boy. She wants it, she wants it bad and she wants it **_now_**, damn it. Even if she did let him down today, Gaara knows she still loves him because she tried to kill that boy and she cradled him because she couldn't do anything else to make it hurt less. Gaara is still her little baby boy and he is only a _good_ boy for her and **_her only_**, and since it is like that he will listen to his haha-ue and go visit the boy later. He is a good boy for her because she loves him and he loves her and no one else so he will listen to her just like all those other times.

There was also another time where his haha-ue failed to protect him, a black haired boy who was fast like that big browed boy was his enemy, he spun around in circles around Gaara and moved easily around his sand tendrils to hit him. He kept getting hurt, punched and haha-ue could hardly do anything. The boy was too fast (_haha-ue, why aren't you protecting me? Don't you love me, don't you, don't you? Haha-ue, it hurts, make him stop, I'll kill him._) The sand formed a dome around him, like a giant protective embrace because she was sorry she couldn't protect her baby (_he knew she was sorry again_). He heard the black haired boy named Uchiha Sasuke pound at the outside of his dome, the sand tendrils followed him and chased him away. Gaara heard the crackle of electricity. A fist broke through the sand barrier and hit his shoulder before the sand tightened around the arm and held it.

His shoulder hurt and it was warm, wet and sticky (_haha-ue, what is this? I'm bleeding…I'm hurt…in pain…haha-ue, make it go away, it hurts me, haha-ue do something, do something, it hurts me_). He spoke to the sand and he felt…tired. (_Haha-ue, I know I'm not supposed to feel tired, but I can't help it, do something haha-ue. Do something._)

Needless to say, the plan to destroy Konohagakure never worked and their match never properly finished, and when Temari had him over her shoulder, he told her to get away because secretly, he liked her better than anyone else (besides his haha-ue) and he didn't want her to get hurt because the voice in his head was screaming and haha-ue was moving in the gourd. Temari didn't listen and he flung her away with a powerful sweep of his pale arm. She flew from him and slammed into a tree, crumpling from the pain and Gaara held a hand to his face. The sand spilled from the gourd because he knew that the black haired Uchiha was after him and was already catching up to him. The gourd melted and he listened to Shukaku (the yelling voice) resonate in his head, listened to his mother whisper and comfort him because (she's so sorry she couldn't do anything, but she'll make it better, she will, she'll kill him for touching him and it's only out of love, she'll make it better.)

The process of turning into the other Gaara was painful and the voice of his mother faded, along with what little remained of his sanity as deformed limbs formed, taking over his human countenance. He roared and flung himself at Sasuke. They battled and he noticed that the pink haired girl on his team had followed along with that blonde boy, (_they're going to try to kill me, hurt me again, where is haha-ue? Where did you put her?_) and Shukaku felt thrilled at the feeling of more blood to be spilled. Somewhere along their fight, the boy transformed (along with a giant toad) into the Kyuubi. He was stronger than Shukaku and with his nine tails had more chakra to boot, but they put up a good fight. They still lost though, admirable or not.

Gaara fell, fell, fell and broke branches of giant trees, crashing to the ground with no haha-ue to cushion him. The Kyuubi boy fell beside him, unconscious and Gaara felt tired, but…he couldn't sleep. He denied himself even when his body fell limp (_Haha-ue, I'm tired, I'm hurt and you're not here, where are you, where are you? Why aren't you here and it hurts, make it STOP_). His brother was there and he had him over his shoulder, ready to carry him and Gaara looked at him. Why was he doing this? They should get out before other Konohagakure ninja come after him and leave him behind because he's been nothing but bad to them. Only his haha-ue loves him, and he only loves her so why was this boy called 'brother' helping him? Temari has always tried to help him, tried being the word, but she wasn't special (_maybe a little, Gaara will admit because she resembled haha-ue just so_), so why…?

Gaara felt his eyes close slowly, the sand was around him and a gourd appeared, purring and warm against him. _Haha-ue is here, hush, I'm sorry, haha-ue is sorry, look at my baby, you're bleeding and tired and you look dead, haha-ue is so sorry._ (_I know you're sorry. Haha-ue loves me and you'd never try to let me down…I'm so tired._)

_I know, and I know you're hurt, and you're tired…haha-ue is here so I'll make it better, I'll make it better…my poor, poor baby boy. Haha-ue is sorry and she'll do better, I'll do better and I'm so sorry, look at you, look at you; my baby boy…my baby…my baby…_

For once in Gaara's life, it all went so quiet and dark. The echo of his mind speaking to him faded out.

_Haha-ue loves you, my poor and beaten baby. _

-

Yup. I've finally spun off my rocker. And no, the sand (in my fan fic) is not actually the ghost of his mother, but Gaara's mind is so twisted and desperate (I believe) that he believes it is. When his 'haha-ue' is speaking to him, I'd just call it a hint of schizophrenia (in which the individual is removed from reality), or Shukaku. You decide.

This title is for a reason and if you can figure OUT the reason, congrats. Hope you liked this piece of mine since it was lingering for a while and please review if you want to offer criticism (because I sure as hell didn't follow the manga or anime at all) or you just liked it (kinda doubtful). Either one would be much appreciated.

Notes:

**Haha-ue**: I would have stuck to English while writing this since 'mother' and 'father' are just fine with me, but in order to extract more feeling from this, 'haha-ue' is a more childish endearment than mama and momma and mommy could ever be in English.

This is the product of listening to Room of Angel from Silent Hill 2. XP I'm twisted.

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